I Hate This: Democratic Party, media eulogy


The Bottom Up
The phrase “President-elect Donald Trump” is like acid on the tongue. You spit it out at the world around you, searing holes in the concrete and pavement, but no matter what you cannot quell the burning.

Despite that, it is imperative that we respect the results of the election, or else we run the risk of embodying even a tiny bit of Donald Trump himself. We run the risk of becoming the Republican obstructionists that muffled the victory of America’s first African-American President. We have to not be idiots about this. Just chill out for a second, as hard as that can seem. It turns out the world hasn’t quite burned down overnight.

Prospects of this Republican clean sweep can be horrifying, but at the very least we should agree to come together long enough to see what President-elect Trump has to offer.

That being said…

I do not expect good things. Nobody should. This was the worst possible scenario of worst possible scenarios. Everybody across the board who doesn’t happen to be straight, white men: Latino, Muslim, African-American, members of the LGBTQ community. Hell, even Jewish people. You all have a right to be afraid.

But don’t be afraid. Be patient. If at any point the promise of law and order comes down and a Trump-appointed judge rules stop-and-frisk constitutional, or the mass deportations begin, or Muslims have to wear a scarlet letter. If more Republican Governors try to implement oppressive bathroom bills.

Then, please. Don’t be afraid. Get pissed. Make sure that this is something that even a heavily conservative America will realize is not okay, come 2020. Get pissed. Organize, protest. Let’s get out from behind our damn computer screens. Let’s ditch our Safe Spaces behind. Because people shouldn’t need a “Safe Space” if a man who campaigned such as President-elect Trump did could even come close to victory, let alone win. Take the safe spaces to the streets.

Organize. All stand in a spot, holding signs for hours, screaming your collective lungs out until enough people start to get the message. Take s**t from the police. Go to jail. Get tear-gassed. Be willing to die for your cause if need be. Contact your representatives, local township level all the way to Congress. Vote in mid-terms and off-year elections.

The Top Down
Wow, okay, so…Democrats? You goofed. You goofed so bad that the American electorate chose Donald “Whatever Grabber” Trump over you. They were so turned off by your corporate, middle-of-the-road bull-schlock that Donald J. “I might be dating by daughter” Trump was considered to be a more-trustworthy alternative.

You really, really screwed up, Democratic Party.

Really, the whole process began with Bill Clinton’s Blue Dog blueprint for the Democratic Party. When Clinton realized that Ronald Reagan’s conservatism was so ingrained within the mind of the electorate, he basically took the position that Democrats had to become more centrist. Less progressive, more…moderately progressive, with semi-liberal values that could easily be shaken by a check in the pocket.

This was not a case of party creationism, however. This was a natural evolution from the horrific failures of unabashedly liberal candidates such as George McGovern, Jimmy Carter in his campaign for re-election, Walter Mondale and Michael Dukakis.

A major trap that has now confined the Democratic Party are superdelegates. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz actually admitted on CNN that superdelegates are basically used to ensure that elected Democratic officials don’t have to be worried about any outsider candidate with a strong grass-roots campaign winning. Because, as Wasserman-Schultz put it, the Democratic Party likes to “highlight and emphasize inclusiveness and diversity at our convention, and so we want to give every opportunity to grass-roots activists and diverse committed Democrats to be able to participate, attend and be a delegate…”

Now, I’m not the biggest fan of Bill Clinton, but one thing he and President Obama share as politicians that Hillary Clinton could not emulate was a genuine charisma and likability. Even President-elect Trump can get people to like him…

That charisma and seeming-genuineness was really the crux of Bill Clinton and Barack Obama’s campaigns. Bill was the cool guy, Barack the quick-witted Professor-type with an overwhelmingly positive message. They could easily mask their attraction to the Democratic machine, their more elitist and corporate sensibilities that might turn off the more progressive, Democratic electorate.

What the party refused to see this year was that now, more than ever, the election is a popularity contest. It’s a reality show. That’s the game that Donald Trump played.

Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren should have been the nominee this year. Because if the Republican Party can find success in becoming increasingly, belligerently more conservative, the Democratic Party has to appeal to the progressive ideals of the electorate. A likable presidential candidate can do wonders for politicians running on the same ballot, as we learned during the swamp drainage that occurred in D.C Tuesday night/Wednesday morning. Hell, that person doesn’t even have to know what they’re talking about, so long as enough people like them.

Not to sound like a dirty socialist but…Senator Sanders was the most liked candidate in the primary elections on either side. It doesn’t matter that people argued that he’d never be able to do what he was aiming to do, because at that same time everybody was suffering from the collecting aneurysm of President-elect Trump’s baffling rise to supremacy during this election cycle. If Sanders had been the nominee, he would have appealed to Libertarians and Independents and Greens simply due to the fact that he carried the same anti-establishment, make drastic changes mentality as Trump. He simply did so with actual policy and a calm demeanor, while portraying a message of peace and unity.

And again, it does not matter if Sanders could not capture the African-American and Latino votes in the primaries. Had superdelegates not existed, and had Sanders’ progressive message been more normalized for a presidential candidate by the media. instead of written off as a long-shot doomed to fail…this election might have happened different.

But no. The Democratic Party loves its machine. And the machine spun around and a ping-pong ball with the name Hillary Rodham-Clinton was written on it. Bill had done so much for the party, and their brand was so ingrained in the new Democrats that it was unfathomable for party officials to not just cede to her the throne. Next in line, if she were ever indicted for those darned e-mails, happened to be Joe Biden who…might be better off serving as our eternal Vice President.

The Republican Party moved further to the right because the Democratic Party pushed itself to the right. And now it’s time for the progressives in this country, of which I still believe there are a surprising many, to take a hold of the electorate and swing the scale in favor of liberalism.

Hillary Clinton
I’m sorry, Hillary. In the end, I even started to like you a little bit.

But you are the worst candidate the United States has seen in a long time. Blowing the primary elections during your first “your year” to a charming, funny and intelligent young Senator from Illinois? Understandable. Blowing the general, after being handed the primary thanks to her most serious, possible establishment opponents refused to run, to a man who’s a walking implosion of debauchery with a penchant for orange spray paint?

This is it for you, Secretary Clinton. Like Trump said in his acceptance speech; thanks for all your years of service. But please, go home and retire from politics.

Only a self-entitled, aloof goof such as yourself could allow this election to slip away when all of your great, progressive response to Trump’s populist message were carefully sewn together bits-and-pieces of Sanders’s and Obama’s messages?

How do you fail to address, satisfactorily, the Benghazi and E-mail scandals well enough to get people to screw off? How do you allow those to snowball until they’re greater than the sum of Trump’s alleged sexual assault, incestual inclinations and business shadiness?

Unlike Bill and Obama, there is just that distinct lack of a solid personality and set of beliefs that has the entire world wondering whether or not your every breath is a cold, calculated half-truth. Your every non-answer pivot was noticeable, awkward, and to the biggest of your detractors, absolutely condemning.

It is a horrible shame that you lost. Electing America’s first woman President, to follow up two terms of its first African-American Commander-in-Chief, would have been an achievement in its own.

But you deserved to lose.

The Media
And finally…

Stop it already with your damned disabling objectivity. I shouldn’t have to turn to Stephen Colbert to find a summary for what is happening in the hearts and minds of all Americans.

I shouldn’t have to watch as you prop up a limp, lifeless, hopeless ooze of a candidate beside the pristine, functioning robot and call them equals. Everyone knows you think differently. Everyone knows you all voted for Secretary Clinton.

Maybe, if journalists and reporters had the ability to give their take on a subject, people who watch CNN or NBC would understand why Trump was so obviously the wrong candidate for the job. Yet, due to the confines of objectivity, these people were trapped in the screen like Mike Teevee from Willy Wonka. Their soulless, dead stares as they read election results as they are forced to explain with a straight face that Trump’s acceptance speech was “the most Presidential he’s ever acted”. When the same thing was said about Trump when he won the nomination and pivoted toward the general election. Or any time he’s caused a really, really major scandal and been confined to the teleprompter for a whole week straight – with no improvisations!

There are some things that can be reported on fairly and accurately.

I just wish that journalists would re-evaluate their beliefs in an attempt to understand why they were a major part of the problem in this year’s election. And I hope, desperately, that the field that I love desperately learns that sometimes the best way to inform the public is to be unfair and biased.

Now let’s all pray that the hype around Trump’s destructive abilities have been overblown, and that come the next four years the democratic process has survived long enough to reverse the damage done by the Democratic Party and the modern, mainstream media in this grueling election.


  1. The only thing that’s acid is the protester and PC culture. Unhappy with the election? we’ll it’s called democracy and you can’t pick and chose when it works for you. The use of the phrase, “safe space”makes me not take you of this article serious. Also, Lizzie the fake Indian Warren would do more damage to this country than ten Donald Trumps.

  2. The phrase “President-elect Barack Obama” is like acid on the tongue. You spit it out at the world around you, searing holes in the concrete and pavement, but no matter what you cannot quell the burning.

    How would people react to this?

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