The first snows have fallen, the first cars have been unnecessarily ticketed, and the final project you were supposed to be working on for the last three months is due in a week. Do you silence your phone and get to work on your growing pile of assignments?
Of course not! You still have a week! Instead, you’re going to watch/rewatch/re-rewatch anything that will tamp down that icky feeling of inevitable doom.
“But what will I watch?” you ask.
“This is an article about that,” I respond, gently. “Didn’t you read the headline? Okay, here it is again, worded differently.”
SHOWS YOU CAN WATCH TO PUT OFF THAT FEELING OF INESCAPABLE DISASTER
90 percent of us are on our parents’ Netflix account, which is great, because it’s easier to make friends when we’ve all only ever seen the same 10 shows!
-If you are interested in the genesis of the personal computer, programmers and engineers yelling at each other, or Lee Pace’s torso, you might enjoy: “Halt & Catch Fire.”
-If you’ve been stuck in an industrial-size tub of almonds for the last six months and are having difficulty understanding all the Halloween costumes on your friends’ social media, you should probably watch: “Stranger Things.”
-If you like horror, but would prefer a shallow, stilted, and more exploitative take on the genre, give “American Horror Story” a try. The new sixth season isn’t on Netflix yet, but that’s okay, because the first season, “Murder House”, is the only one with even a meager dash of inspiration.
-If you like campy horror that is warm and fun and spooky, and doesn’t lean super hard on the romantic angle, you’ll like “The X-Files.”
-If you like movies about computers and drugs but don’t know anything about them, or think 4chan is a good place to form political opinions, or want to see Rami Malek look perpetually terrified, you might enjoy: “Mr. Robot.”
-If you’re so burnt out at this point all you can do is laugh at yourself, and want to feel way, way worse for some reason, check out “Bojack Horseman”
-If you didn’t get enough attention that one time you deleted your Facebook for a couple weeks, and need sources for your anti-technology alarmist thinkpiece, which you will no doubt subject me to via social media, you’ll love “Black Mirror.”
-If you feel like you don’t have enough indie cred or whatever to wear corduroy and an old sweater from Goodwill and one of those Kanken backpacks all at the same time, you should probably watch “Twin Peaks.” Or just wear whatever you want. I don’t know, I just review television shows.
-If you’re kinda trashy, but revel in it, “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” is for you.
Why do you watch stuff on Amazon Prime? Did you get the free six-month student membership and then forgot to cancel and now you’re trying to get your money’s worth? I don’t know what to tell you, buddy. “True Blood?”
-If you’re one of those people who inserts quotes into their conversation constantly, or your friends make fun of you for not watching what they believe is the greatest television show of all time, “The Wire,” then you should probably go ahead and watch it.
-If you thought Peaky Blinders didn’t spend enough time on exposition about old furniture, give “Downton Abbey” a try. I haven’t seen it, I just assume it’s like an “Antiques Roadshow” spin-off.
Some people prefer streaming everything in 240p on questionably legal sites with ads exclusively targeted at preteens. These shows are for you.
– ”Rick & Morty” is fun! Wasn’t season 3 supposed to come out right about now? Better rewatch the first two just in case!
-The recent singles from Donald Glover’s upcoming album have already sort of eclipsed the hype from “Atlanta,” his brilliant new show on FX which premiered in September. It’s hilarious and smartly political, and if you missed it you should go un-miss it pronto.
-Tired of HBO’s supermassive black hole “Game of Thrones” sucking up a distressing amount of money just to destroy any fond memories you had from a overly wordy, decades-old book series? “Westworld” is better, and if you really cram you’ll be ready for the finale this Sunday.
-When there’s nothing else, there’s always “The Eric Andre Show.”